


The Biting Water

by Roundworm



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Alternate Universe, Awkward Flirting, Cardassians are lizards and you can’t stop me, M/M, Missed Connections, Reconnaissance, Tags Are Hard, humans as aliens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:15:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27261832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roundworm/pseuds/Roundworm
Summary: He still begged to keep going back down. Cardassia Prime was absolutely fascinating; the architecture alone was enough to captivate him, but the dimmed lights made him fall in love. To be honest, the lights on the Defiant could be overwhelming when he was already having a bad day.It was kind of fun to have the tail, too.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 3
Kudos: 51





	The Biting Water

**Author's Note:**

> When one rewatches DS9, one is obligated to write Garashir. I don’t make the rules, fellas.

This mission was simultaneously the greatest and the worst one he’d ever been assigned to: reconnaissance on the planet known as Cardassia Prime, to see how receptive they’d be to first contact considering how close they were to warp capability. Every inch of Julian’s body was aching with the weight and stiffness of the replicated scales on his spine, the artificial ridges on his neck reduced mobility by a significant degree, and frankly, his “hair” was far closer to a solar-panelled helmet. His fretting about a sunburned scalp was laughed off by Jadzia—but wait ‘til she had to be the one to put the hair on. 

In spite of all this, however, he still begged to keep going back down. Cardassia Prime was absolutely fascinating; the architecture alone was enough to captivate him, but the dimmed lights made him fall in love. To be honest, the lights on the _Defiant_ could be overwhelming when he was already having a bad day. 

It was kind of fun to have the tail, too. 

Julian was on his way back from a minimal-contact venture into Lakat. He’d studied extensively through what they knew of Cardassians beforehand, of course—he knew who to look in the eyes and who to kneel and kiss the boots of—he handled himself quite well in the city. It was the outskirts, the forests, that he seemed to struggle with. The citizens out here were less beholden to city standards—it was a place for them to unwind, and they didn’t exactly keep records of their leisure time.

As he made the torturous walk from the city through the forest, the sound of rushing water got his brief attention. There was a small waterfall just a few meters beyond the treeline, and if he wasn’t slowly melting in his encasement of gray scales, he may have gone to investigate. However, Julian just wanted to get back to the ship at this point, so he turned his head from the source and decided to continue on his way. 

Before he could completely turn away, movement in the trees caught the corner of his eye. He turned his head again, in the same direction of his earlier attention, to find… oh. 

He hadn’t noticed the clothes when he’d looked the first time. 

A tall, slender Cardassian emerged from the treeline to retrieve these clothes, dripping wet and paying him no mind. It was only when his claws had caught the neckline of what Julian could only assume to be his own shirt did the Cardassian even acknowledge his existence with a quick glance. Okay, that’s Julian’s cue to leave. 

“I haven’t seen you around.” The Cardassian called out conversationally, straightening up from his previous crouched position. “You’re from Lakat?” 

Julian stared pointedly at the spoon on his forehead and did not stray from that point for even a second. “Elar, actually. Just visiting.” 

The Cardassian made a small “ah” of understanding. “It’s been awhile since I’ve been to Elar. I knew a woman there once— _you know_.” He smiled a vaguely slimy sort of smile that Julian had begun to associate with the Cardassians. Not that they could exactly adjust the level of sliminess of their smiles, of course. 

Oh, right, he was supposed to laugh. Julian chuckled and nodded his head. “It’s a great place for women.”

“Why don’t you join us?” The Cardassian gestured with the hand that wasn’t still uselessly holding his shirt towards the source of the sound of water. “ _Raharit kinat’l_ is perfect this time of day—you’d be a fool not to take advantage.” 

Oh God. Oh no. Not only were there apparently _multiple_ Cardassians beyond those trees, they were all _definitely_ bound to be naked, and these scales _definitely_ did not cover his entire body. Not to mention—oh God, they had internal genitalia as well. Why did he look?

“Lakat takes quite a bit out of me,” Julian probably rushed that excuse—he needed to relax. Relax. He held his hands out in the universal gesture of ‘what can I say’. “Too many people, not enough space.”

The Cardassian hummed. “All the more reason, is it not?”

Goddammit. 

He was about three seconds from running for the hills when another, drier Cardassian ducked into the clearing to look for his own clothes. This one was shorter and a lot less intimidating, although his tail was noticeably thicker and his claws a tad sharper. This Cardassian only looked up from his mission when he’d pulled his clothes on. 

“Banoc,” The shorter addressed the taller, although he was looking at Julian. “Harassing more men, are you?” 

Banoc (apparently) made an offended sort of scoffing noise. “I’m hardly _harassing_ this man. I’m simply inviting him to join us!”

“You’ve invited plenty.” The unnamed man said, a conspiratorial smile growing on his face, as if to say ‘watch this, random “Cardassian” citizen that I haven’t even spoken to yet’. “Besides, it’s getting rather late, isn’t it? Hatchlings shouldn’t stay up after dark.” 

Banoc sputtered for a moment before he came back with a hissed “You’re only fifty years older than me, Garak.”

“And that has made all the difference!” Garak (apparently) rumbled with laughter, patting Banoc on the shoulder. “There’s work to be done tomorrow, Banoc—very early work. I believe it’s time to sleep while we still can.” 

Banoc seemed like he had more to say, but he begrudgingly agreed and _finally_ put his clothes on. “I suppose.” He grumbled. 

Garak nodded along and Julian was beginning to learn that he was very good at subtle condescension. As Banoc disappeared back through the trees, speaking indistinctly to what Julian assumed to be the other Cardassians still lounging in _raharit kinat’l_ , Garak approached him. 

He could do this. Just one more interaction and he could leave the planet unscathed. 

“I do apologize if my friend has…” Garak gestured vaguely with his hand. 

“Not at all,” Julian waved it off as casually as he could—he really hoped it wasn’t too casual. “I’m used to it.” He continued pridefully—he really hoped it wasn’t too prideful. 

The real Cardassian chuckled and tilted his chin up to the side a bit. “I’m sure you are,” 

His voice trailed off expectantly. Was this his cue? What was his name again? Garak had really pretty eyes, did he know that?

“Uh— Juhid.” Julian heard himself say, and although he cringed in his mind at that “uh” at the beginning, he thought he’d gotten over that hurdle fairly well. “And you’re Garak.”

“Indeed I am.” Garak confirmed, his tail sweeping the ground behind him for a moment. “I understand you’re on your way to Elar?” 

Julian nodded, then belatedly wondered how long Garak had been lurking to hear that. Cardassians had particularly poor hearing from far away, after all. “Ah, what a pleasant coincidence! I’ll be passing through Elar myself tonight. Shall we?”

Ah. 

_‘Just think of it as more practice,’_ Julian thought to himself as he dumbly nodded again. _‘This is research. You’re researching socialization.’_

They walked in relative silence for the most part, occasionally broken by Julian’s unintentionally open fascination with the planet—which sounded suspiciously like something an alien would say. He was having an internal struggle between acting like a normal Cardassian who would naturally know things about Cardassia Prime and throwing the entire mission away to ask Garak about _everything_. 

Finally, he struck a deal with himself: only one stupid question allowed. He was alright with coming off as a stupid native. Besides, he “lived in Elar”, didn’t he? Surely he wouldn’t know everything about Lakat.

“The, er… _raharit kinat’l_ ,” Boy, human tongues were _not_ meant to make those sounds. “Seems to be a nice spot?”

Garak made a quiet humming noise and suddenly Julian was wishing he’d taken his chances in the waterfall. “Well, that’s certainly what Banoc would lead you to believe. Personally, I think the water is too hot. That man’s scales are far thicker than any other person I’ve known.”

Huh, that actually went kinda well.

“Besides, why would you want to get into the water when the stones beside it get just as much sun? That water will _destroy_ your oils if it gets into your hair, there’s really no point in it but to show off.” He carried on as Julian internally congratulated himself for not coming off as a complete fool. 

“I’ll keep that in mind next time.” Julian murmured somewhat to himself. He had to remember to look into these Cardassian oils and why they were so important when he got back to the _Defiant_. Garak laughed quietly, and Julian could see his tail move out of the corner of his eye, but he didn’t know where it had gone. 

“Next time indeed.” Garak echoed almost distantly, clasping his hands behind his back. “Well, Juhid, if you do come by Lakat again, please feel free to stop at _raharit kinat’l_. We may meet—and, if we’re so lucky,” Julian could feel the glance that had been shot at him. “You won’t meet Banoc again.”

Julian was thankful for the first time that his skin had been painted gray, because he was almost 99% sure that was a come-on. His own laugh was flustered, so he cleared his throat and tried again. 

Even worse the second time. 

“One can hope.” He attempted… something? Garak seemed receptive enough, but he couldn’t really glean much from the responding noise other than ‘pleased’. 

Suddenly, it seemed like Elar was far too close to Lakat, because they had arrived before Julian knew it. Although it was something that he _definitely should not be doing_ , Julian was beginning to get attached to this Cardassian. 

“Well,” Julian said quickly, trying to remove himself from the situation as fast as he could before it got any worse. “I suppose this is where we part ways.”

Garak looked around, his brow ridges raised in mild surprise, as if he too had lost track of where they were going. “Yes, I suppose it is.” He turned his gaze back to Julian. 

They went silent, then. Expectant.

Julian’s scales didn’t cover his whole body. 

God _dammit_. 

“Perhaps I’ll see you at _raharit kinat’l_.” Julian said instead of what he was probably supposed to. Garak dipped his head once, a polite smile on his face. 

“One can hope.” He answered. Then, he turned and continued walking. 

Julian had never felt so miserable to go back to his own ship. 

The next morning, he recounted the entire encounter with Jadzia over breakfast.

“I think I was… getting hit on?” His voice rose an octave on the last few words, feeling like he probably shouldn’t feel this proud of it. Jadzia gave him an incredulous smile that dissolved into laughter. “What?”

“Of _course_ you were, Julian, you’re practically the standard of beauty down there!” She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world: Earth’s atmosphere was blue, water made things wet, and Julian Bashir was a very attractive Cardassian.

“How— huh?” He was too confused to feel flattered. Yet. 

Jadzia shook her head and took a nice, long sip from her _raktajino_ , just to be an asshole. “Haven’t you noticed? The most popular Cardassians are tall, thin, and have long necks.” She leaned forward like she was sharing a secret, “The inverted triangle type body is ideal.”

Julian blinked slowly, then deflated back against his chair. “Of course you know that.”

“Of course I know that.” She agreed. 

He sighed loudly and dramatically, still feeling regretful. If he’d known for _sure_ … but then again, it’s not as though he could… 

Jadzia propped her chin on her hand and sighed as well. “You’re probably not going to be allowed to go back down there now. You know that, right?”

Julian looked out at Cardassia Prime and felt his stomach twist up in a knot. “Yeah. I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Also I spent way too long trying to translate “the biting water” into Kardasi. I’m sure raharit kinat’l isn’t 100% accurate but it be like that sometimes...


End file.
